Peanut and Cracker Jack — To get back in the game a disgraced little league coach must turn a team of awkward, couch-potato kids with one superstar and the rival coach?s spurned daughter into champions.
cynosurerLogliner
Peanut and Cracker Jack — To get back in the game a disgraced little league coach must turn a team of awkward, couch-potato kids with one superstar and the rival coach?s spurned daughter into champions.
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This strikes me as another version of the?? “Bad News Bears” formula.? Well, it’s been a money-maker in the past.? Maybe it’ll?appeal to a new generation of kids.? But I don’t see anything that makes this logline stand out,? that adds a clever and irresistible?ingredient to the formula.
fwiw
What DPG said.
Also best to describe a plot with a definitive start and end point, in other words an inciting incident and goal.
Why is the coach disgraced? What put him out of the game? Use this as the inciting incident.
What does turn the team mean? Does it mean to make them better? How will he know that he has successfully turned them around? do they need to beat the current state champion team? What ever it is use it as the goal.