A ?rescued? teenager with an abusive past must rally other students at his new school against a torturous headmistress to save himself and his friends.

First of all, if the headmistress tortures students, ?is it physical or just psychological? ?

The teenagers’s abusive past is just that — back story. ?By itself it does not constitute an inciting incident for the plot. ?What is the inciting incident in the present tense of the story that triggers the teenager to act? ?What happens between the teenager and the headmistress that provokes him to act?

And ‘save’ should be more specific. ?Harry Stamper in “Armaggedon” (1998) wants to ‘save’ the earth from an approaching asteroid. ? Good enough for a logline and pitch? ?No, the hook in the logline ?is HOW he intends to do it: ?blow up the asteroid. ?That’s his objective goal– that’s the plot of the movie. Saving the planet entails a specific objective goal and game plan.

So, what becomes the teenager’s objective goal for ‘saving’ himself and others? ?What is his specific game plan? ?Get the headmistress fired? ?Arrested? ?Or…?

fwiw