Logliner
Posted: 2017-06-12T21:41:43+10:00 In:

A rewrite: When a young Muslim woman and a none Muslim man falls in love, they fight for their lives, when her betrothed hunts them to revenge his and his family’s honor.

A rewrite: When a young Muslim woman and a none Muslim man falls in love, they fight for their lives, when her betrothed hunts them to revenge his and his family’s honor.
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    4 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Singularity

      Where is the story set? ? In what country/culture? ?In the present or in the past?

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    2. Best Answer
      Logliner

      Hei, this happens in present time in Norway. She falls in love with a Norwegian man. Should I have that in the logline? Tks

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    3. Best Answer
      Uberwriter

      Exactly as DPG asks, the timeline has a lot to do with this, or does it?

      In civilized Western society, I would expect these fear and consequences to be something from the past, the way past. However, reality suggests that the faith in question could very well be current times. Unfortunately.

      “Non” sounds better than using “None”.

      “Young Muslim woman” is fine. I’d change to: “falls in love outside of her faith” or something like that. This way you don’t mention Muslim 2x in the same sentence.

      When a young Muslim woman falls in love outside of her faith, her betrothed seeks to avenge his honor and the honor of his family.

      We still don’t know anything about what magnitude this escape plan is or if we should be rooting for the woman or the betrayed fiance. Is this a chase movie or a religious biopic? The non-Muslim seems to be the outsider or victim here. Do we root for him? Probably not.

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    4. Best Answer
      Singularity

      I like the general premise of the story, Benneth, a conflict of faith and culture. ?It is definitely an improvement over your previous versions?And it is definitely topical.

      I think Foxtrot25’s suggestion is an improvement, but I would like a clarification as to whom you see as the protagonist in the story, the woman or the man? ?From whose pov are you going to tell the story? (And am I correct to believe that the woman is part of a family that has recently immigrated to Norway?)

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