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Death is ignoble. Poets may claim otherwise, but there is nothing heroic about its finality. Ed zippered the body bag over the now perpetually young soldier; that once virile face would haunt him for years. ………..would like feedback on this opening sentence
BINGO! thanks a lot, This episode is pivotal years later. Ed suffers from PTSD doing this stuff for decades. He partitions it away in his mind but eventually something triggers him to snap. Ed becomes a sociopath with PTSD and still works for covert groups, He trusts no one because his own agency isRead more
BINGO! thanks a lot, This episode is pivotal years later. Ed suffers from PTSD doing this stuff for decades. He partitions it away in his mind but eventually something triggers him to snap. Ed becomes a sociopath with PTSD and still works for covert groups, He trusts no one because his own agency is no better than their ‘enemies’. ed is one messed up dude, but one still with a shred empathy that appears at the most unlikely time. That helped a lot anf i may keep this line solely in the hopes an agent will read it and decide to read more
See lessAfter an asteroid hits the earth and wipes out half the planet, a scientist must find a way to keep humanity from freezing to death by harnessing the earth’s core.
Hey guys, I really appreciate the feedback and the time giving it. In terms of the story actually working , that's something I prefer to figure out while I'm writing the synopsis and delving into research, although I do appreciate you flagging it dpg - it's not something one should underestimate. ReRead more
Hey guys, I really appreciate the feedback and the time giving it. In terms of the story actually working , that’s something I prefer to figure out while I’m writing the synopsis and delving into research, although I do appreciate you flagging it dpg – it’s not something one should underestimate. Re. the logline, thanks, Dkpough1, yea I think perhaps a little more detail of how the scientist is going to go about harnessing the earth’s core, might be beneficial. Because I’m using loglines as development tools at this point, I’m really trying to make sure I have a handle on them so that I have solid a foundation and direction, for my stories. I’m getting a lot of value from all your feedback, thank you.
See lessA twelve-year-old orphan and his uncle journey to another dimension, while battling monsters of Christmas legend, in order to unravel the mystery of the heritage hidden from them by a strange, ancient magic.
What triggers the Journey; that incident seems to be missing from your logline. "When Santa is turned into a brain eating zombie..." (Just as an example) Then tell us what they must do about it.
What triggers the Journey; that incident seems to be missing from your logline.
“When Santa is turned into a brain eating zombie…” (Just as an example)
Then tell us what they must do about it.
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