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A reluctant rail enthusiast embarks across the country by trains to save a girl with supernatural abilities from an organization that will commit inhumane experiments on her.
Hi RailGamm97, This is how I see it: To hide a girl with supernatural abilities from a shady organization and save her from their lethal experimentations, a man reluctantly takes her on a train journey across the country. If so, use the above logline as a template and re-write. Good Luck I hope thisRead more
Hi RailGamm97,
This is how I see it:
To hide a girl with supernatural abilities from a shady organization and save her from their lethal experimentations, a man reluctantly takes her on a train journey across the country.
If so, use the above logline as a template and re-write.
Good Luck
See lessI hope this helps.
A reckless guy with a secret smartphone app must go back in time and undo his courtship with his cousin when he accidentally impregnates her.
Hi NavCR, Reading your proposed logline and the short synopsis you provided, I see something like this: A mischievous lonely guy must use a mysterious app on his cell phone to go back in time and undo the events that resulted in him impregnating his cousin. I hope you this helps
Hi NavCR,
Reading your proposed logline and the short synopsis you provided, I see something like this:
A mischievous lonely guy must use a mysterious app on his cell phone to go back in time and undo the events that resulted in him impregnating his cousin.
I hope you this helps
See lessWith the help of Elvis, a fourteen-year-old strrives to contain a series of disastrous events which he set in motion while working at his uncle’s run-down wax museum in Las Vegas.
There’s something to this. How would you describe the teen’s character or job function? Show, don’t tell the goal – “strives to contain a series of disastrous events, which he set in motion.” It sounds like Elvis and the teen are putting out fires. Is there an antagonist? For color, inject the stakeRead more
There’s something to this.
How would you describe the teen’s character or job function?
Show, don’t tell the goal – “strives to contain a series of disastrous events, which he set in motion.”
It sounds like Elvis and the teen are putting out fires. Is there an antagonist?
For color, inject the stakes into your goal.
Example:
See less“A teen tour guide enlists the help of Elvis to [GOAL] when hired by a run-down Las Vegas wax museum.”
Notice I excluded “while working” as that begs the reader, “why now?”
Keep going!