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  1. Posted: April 21, 2018In: Comedy

    When his uncle and Stepfather want a new council building, the council lawyer to impress his Mafia uncle and take over his uncle?s mafia empire , introduces parking fines but he must deal with an irate customer and his computing hacking stepbrother who by interfering with his plans threatens to make him look incompetent.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 23, 2018 at 1:13 am

    >>>introduces parking fines but he must dealAs the municipal council lawyer, he can only recommend.? The majority of the council has to approve.And parking fines are small potatoes, pocket change? when compared to the money his uncle must be racking in by the regular rackets.? Even as a comRead more

    >>>introduces parking fines but he must deal

    As the municipal council lawyer, he can only recommend.? The majority of the council has to approve.

    And parking fines are small potatoes, pocket change? when compared to the money his uncle must be racking in by the regular rackets.? Even as a comedy, I fail to see how this is enough to impress his uncle,? tap him as his successor.

    And isn’t it an “irate citizen”? rather than “irate customer”?

    ?

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  2. Posted: April 21, 2018In: Comedy

    Logline (for 6 part series) An incompetent klutz but competent council lawyer, wants his uncle to name his as the next mafia boss so he can get girls but he needs to show he knows how to make money and can run a business. Logline for pilot When his uncle and Stepfather want a new council building, the council lawyer to impress his Mafia uncle and take over his uncle?s mafia empire , introduces parking fines but must deal with the problems that these cause.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 23, 2018 at 12:02 am

    At 80 words, this logline is w-a-y too long . Please review the guidelines under "Our formula".? With loglines, less is more.

    At 80 words, this logline is w-a-y too long . Please review the guidelines under “Our formula”.?

    With loglines, less is more.

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  3. Posted: April 14, 2018In: Comedy

    Sabotaged on her studio debut, a novice filmmaker must produce her blockbuster without funds and with local amateurs to prove herself, before she loses the rights to her script.

    Nettle Samurai
    Added an answer on April 16, 2018 at 1:26 pm

    It sounds good. Few suggestions that come to my mind: For E.g., Anurag Kashyap is an Indian filmmaker. Before becoming a prominent filmmaker he used to write scripts for the studios for free. He is known for choosing locations that are budget friendly. Once (I think on his first project), he leasedRead more

    It sounds good. Few suggestions that come to my mind:
    For E.g., Anurag Kashyap is an Indian filmmaker. Before becoming a prominent filmmaker he used to write scripts for the studios for free.
    He is known for choosing locations that are budget friendly. Once (I think on his first project), he leased an abandoned filthy place/building as his film’s location. He leased it with the condition that he will get the place clean. And he and his amateur crew did clean it, painted it new and after the film was shot, he handed the building back and today it runs as a restaurant building. (He had to clear bags of pigeon shit from that abandoned building)
    This made his project’s budget under control.

    Conflicts can be created giving such challenges to your character.

    The novice filmmaker must prove herself before she loses the right to her script: It can be for instance, she must make her own film before the project is handed over to someone else. LOSING THE RIGHT does not sound correct as they (screenwriters) are protected and studio always has the fear of being blacklisted if they inappropriately get the rights.

    It can be (in your words) : Sabotaged on her studio debut, a novice filmmaker must produce her blockbuster before her ambitious project is handed over.

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