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A fanatical sports fan inherits a huge fortune from a previously unknown uncle. However, the estate includes ownership of his own teams hated local rivals and the proviso that he will only inherit if he takes control of them and leads them to the best season in their history.
What FFF said. ?He should not only hate the team he's inherited but the deceased uncle. ? ?The uncle is someone who he knew only too well. ?The hatred was mutual which is why the uncle bequeathed it to him, as a malicious, vindictive joke. And it ?might also strengthen the story if he doesn't just wRead more
What FFF said. ?He should not only hate the team he’s inherited but the deceased uncle. ? ?The uncle is someone who he knew only too well. ?The hatred was mutual which is why the uncle bequeathed it to him, as a malicious, vindictive joke.
And it ?might also strengthen the story if he doesn’t just want the money — he desperately?needs it; he’s on the verge of financial ruin from his own failed investments, business venture, whatever.
fwiw
See lessApproaching middle age and divorced; a British IT professional needs more fun injecting into his life. After moving to Bangkok and working as a teacher, he faces an overdose of funny situations.
The first sentence can be cut from the logline - it's back story and is not relevant to the plot.Then, as mentioned above, describe the inciting incident that motivates him to move. Secondly, and most importantly, what is his specific goal? What MUST he achieve in his move? If it's more fun, then deRead more
The first sentence can be cut from the logline – it’s back story and is not relevant to the plot.
Then, as mentioned above, describe the inciting incident that motivates him to move. Secondly, and most importantly, what is his specific goal? What MUST he achieve in his move? If it’s more fun, then describe what that means in practical terms.
Lastly, best to avoid vague description such as “…overdose of funny situations?”. Unless you describe the details of the plot, you’re asking the reader to come up with them for you – the point of a logline is for you to inform the reader not the other way around.
See lessAfter deciding they are together for the long haul, recent college graduates and lovers, Wyatt and Emma, have their relationship tested as they move across the country for a job that doesn’t actually exist.
This doesn't have any flow. You break it up too much when the goal of a logline should basically be to clearly and concisely tell your story in about 20-30 words. The advice above is great and I don't really have anything to add but I hope this helps.
This doesn’t have any flow. You break it up too much when the goal of a logline should basically be to clearly and concisely tell your story in about 20-30 words. The advice above is great and I don’t really have anything to add but I hope this helps.
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