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  1. Posted: June 23, 2016In: Comedy

    Selfish athlete learns the importance of humility when he falls for a single mom while rehabbing an injury as his team makes playoff push.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on June 23, 2016 at 4:27 pm

    I think you're trying to make it seem as if his love for the woman will prevent him from partaking in the playoff. To that matter he needs to choose between real love or his sports career, as DPG mentioned it needs to be explained why and how the love and career are related or how they connect, coulRead more

    I think you’re trying to make it seem as if his love for the woman will prevent him from partaking in the playoff. To that matter he needs to choose between real love or his sports career, as DPG mentioned it needs to be explained why and how the love and career are related or how they connect, could it be that she was a nurse or physiotherapist at the rehab centre?
    This way his sports bought him to meet his love but his love is taking him away from the sport.

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  2. Posted: June 21, 2016In: Comedy

    A pert casino waitress accidentally tripled in stature by a scientist achieves her dream of Vegas stardom and falls in love wuth him, but sacrifices her size to save him when he’s kidnapped by a mobster. .,

    Best Answer
    Vincent Logliner
    Added an answer on June 23, 2016 at 8:37 am

    See the screenplay ar http://filmfreeway.com/projects/476988

    See the screenplay ar http://filmfreeway.com/projects/476988

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  3. Posted: June 20, 2016In: Comedy

    A mild mannered accountant accidentally kills a mobster in a hit and run accident and must escape the mob?s revenge and another mob?s quest to silence him as he hightails it with the dead mobster?s wayward wife and two bratty kids to safety in the Arizona desert.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 20, 2016 at 8:56 pm

    Great advice: ?the "one-breath rule".As FFF said, the logline ?juggles too many balls, too many jokes. ?A good logline for a comedy is about one Big Joke that the rest of the story builds on with riffs and mixes to a climactic button scene.Like "Tootsie" where the Big Joke is ?an?unsuccessful actorRead more

    Great advice: ?the “one-breath rule”.

    As FFF said, the logline ?juggles too many balls, too many jokes. ?A good logline for a comedy is about one Big Joke that the rest of the story builds on with riffs and mixes to a climactic button scene.

    Like “Tootsie” where the Big Joke is ?an?unsuccessful actor disguises himself as a woman to ?get a role in a soap opera. Everything else, all the complications, mishaps, all the comedy build on that ?Big Joke.

    What’s the one Big Joke in this premise on which the rest of the story builds?

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