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An unknown, white, Republican candidate runs for office in a poor, Democratic, black neighborhood, setting up his headquarters in a Baptist church where the congregation is hesitant to support him.
DPG, Sorry for the delay in responding. I thought I'd get a notice if someone reviewed my logline. I hadn't and didn't think to check till now. ?As to your concerns: It's state senate but I disagree that that is important in the logline. That he is running in/for a seat in a poor black district?doesRead more
DPG, Sorry for the delay in responding. I thought I’d get a notice if someone reviewed my logline. I hadn’t and didn’t think to check till now. ?As to your concerns:
It’s state senate but I disagree that that is important in the logline. That he is running in/for a seat in a poor black district?does limit the possible offices. ?To appear relevant in the election the pastor decides to have all the candidates including the lone Republican attend a debate with a $10,000 ‘prize/donation going to the candidate who gets the most votes from the congregation. They all agree. The Mega-Baptist church and power players in the district think this is a great idea so they stage a competing debate same time and date and a bigger donation. All the Democrats dump the poor black church’s debate and go to Mega-Baptist’s instead. The Republican shows up anyway and gives a really nice speech even admitting to being a racist … sort of. But he wins the debate (2 votes for and 400 abstaining) ?Instead of taking the money and running he offers to rent,??for six months, a small corner in their dilapidated community center/gym for about $10,000. ?And the fun begins. It’s a TV series.
See lessAfter a nerdy political science student from Greece gets a scholarship to study abroad in New York, he meets a pop star as student at the university and tries to date her, but their different worldviews lead to tension.
Agree with Nir Shelter and FFF. The logline appears to be?setting up an "Odd Couple", a tried-and-true relationship for laughs.? But after the setup, then what?? Odd couple relationships are usually played out in the context of an ongoing struggle for something both badly want that creates the tensiRead more
Agree with Nir Shelter and FFF.
The logline appears to be?setting up an “Odd Couple”, a tried-and-true relationship for laughs.? But after the setup, then what?? Odd couple relationships are usually played out in the context of an ongoing struggle for something both badly want that creates the tension.
So what is the objective goal that creates the tension?
See lessAfter a shy film student wins a movie contest in the US, he meets his heartthrob at the festival, but they both live in different worlds as she is a pop star and he a suburban guy from Germany.
The premise has some good obstacles that stand in the way of love-- prerequisite for the genre.? But it seems to me that "film student" is too general.? What is he?studying to be? An actor, a director, a cinematographer, or (god have mercy on his wretched soul!) a screenwriter.? I think his role inRead more
The premise has some good obstacles that stand in the way of love– prerequisite for the genre.? But it seems to me that “film student” is too general.? What is he?studying to be? An actor, a director, a cinematographer, or (god have mercy on his wretched soul!) a screenwriter.? I think his role in the film needs to be more specific because plot twists and relationship chemistry may be contingent on what he aspires to be.
Also, while the premise sets up a?Romeo-and-Juliet??scenario?(a love story about people separated by feuding families, class,, cash, status, language, whatever), he defined rather?non-assertively.??He pines -and what does he do about it?? It doesn’t state what his objective goal is in?terms of a game plan to overcome the obstacles and win her heart.
So, as a result of falling love with the pop star, what becomes his objective goal, his game plan,? to surmount the barriers that separate them and win her heart?
See less