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  1. Posted: March 23, 2020In: Comedy

    A former child actor’s life has turned upside down when he mentors a teenage boy who looks like him during his younger days.

    Trix Samurai
    Added an answer on March 23, 2020 at 9:24 pm

    I'm not sure why you had drug dealer in the first place... why would seeing someone who looks like his younger self turn his life upside down?I realise you've changed it to 'former child actor' but this is such an extreme change, that I wondered how it could be done whilst leaving the rest of the loRead more

    I’m not sure why you had drug dealer in the first place… why would seeing someone who looks like his younger self turn his life upside down?

    I realise you’ve changed it to ‘former child actor’ but this is such an extreme change, that I wondered how it could be done whilst leaving the rest of the logline intact? ?Surely the motivation was embedded within the entire sentence.

    Changing it to a former child actor, actually makes it work really well for me (which is why I’m so surprised you had a drug dealer in the first place)… either you’ve struck lucky, or there’s some method to your madness?

    This needs a bit of work, but is so much better in its construction than previous loglines. ?I can see why a former (possibly forgotten) child actor would be impacted by a rising star who looks just like him, it sounds like he could either mentor this boy to avoid all the mistakes he made and therefore progress to becoming the successful adult actor he could never be himself, or he could jealously sabotage his career so that the teen also becomes a forgotten child actor that once showed promise but falls into obscurity.

    I’d work on this some more and refine it to clarify what the story is – starting with being specific about how his life is turned upside down.

    I really like this idea.

    Regards
    Trix

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  2. Posted: March 16, 2020In: Comedy

    Two directionless twenty-something bartenders are accidentally exposed to information about a fixed horse race and try to take advantage of this potential windfall without tipping their hand to the nasty thugs that planned the caper

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 17, 2020 at 10:11 pm

    Jamzies:I advocate composing two loglines for works projects, a development version to rough out the fundamentals of the plot for the work in progress, and eventually a marketing version for pitching the finished script.? (Ideally, the two could be one and the same, but in practice that is not alwayRead more

    Jamzies:

    I advocate composing two loglines for works projects, a development version to rough out the fundamentals of the plot for the work in progress, and eventually a marketing version for pitching the finished script.? (Ideally, the two could be one and the same, but in practice that is not always the case. )

    “Gets in too deep” is vague,? needs clarification and specificity. Right now, I am interested in a development logline version of your concept that lays down the fundamental elements:? inciting incident, protagonist, objective goal, antagonist, stakes.? (And it is perfectly kosher for a development version to begin with “when” because it’s for a work in progress, only for private use. I agree that the marketing version for when the finished script goes public should try to avoid leading off with that word.)

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  3. Posted: September 30, 2019In: Comedy, Examples

    With 11 days left until the election, a political spin-doctor recruits a Hollywood producer to stage a phony war in order to distract voters from a presidential sex scandal.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 15, 2020 at 6:38 am

    The spin doctor is the protagonist. This is a logline for a movie that actually got made.? Getting re-elected POTUS isn't high enough stakes?? The current occupant of? the White House and his opponents think otherwise.

    The spin doctor is the protagonist.

    This is a logline for a movie that actually got made.? Getting re-elected POTUS isn’t high enough stakes?? The current occupant of? the White House and his opponents think otherwise.

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