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  1. Posted: February 24, 2020In: Comedy

    After a heart attack on his highschool graduation, an obese mama’s boy sets off to lose a hundred pounds before starting college, in the hopes of getting laid and avoiding an early grave.

    Trix Samurai
    Added an answer on February 25, 2020 at 2:01 am

    To me, the ?pursue girls? of your new logline is still a bit anti-climactic. ?It?s too close to (but not even as specific as) ?get laid?. Maybe there is already a specific girl? ?Maybe his trainer is a girl and the B-story? ?Not that they have to end up together, but maybe he can help her see the inRead more

    To me, the ?pursue girls? of your new logline is still a bit anti-climactic. ?It?s too close to (but not even as specific as) ?get laid?.

    Maybe there is already a specific girl? ?Maybe his trainer is a girl and the B-story? ?Not that they have to end up together, but maybe he can help her see the inner beauty in her own personal life. ?His love story could be hinted at as the warm fuzzy promise of things to come right at the end?

    Originally your logline read as a Porky?s style flick (god that ages me! LOL), but your response above suggests a deeper message delivered with humour.

    Why is he a mama?s boy? ?How could that relationship shape his story? ?Is it because (as Nir suggested) his father died (of a heart attack?) and she?s wrapped him in cotton wool? ?Is it because she?s remarrying and she wants him to be able to walk her down the aisle?

    The concept is really growing on me as I?ve not come across a story where such a young MC has a heart attack at a mile-stone event? I can see a film opening on that inciting incident and being hooked to find out how the hell did this happen and where is this kid?s life going to go from here.

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  2. Posted: February 21, 2020In: Comedy

    A hot-tempered roofer and his baked teenage apprentice climb the ladder of the trade world and swindle their way to success.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on February 22, 2020 at 10:07 am

    Agreed with the above. Also, is there a way to make this pair more empathetic? That's not to say that the main characters have to be "good" people, but being hot-tempered, stoned, and evidently greedy, aren't qualities that alone give an audience much to hang their hat on. Could they at least have aRead more

    Agreed with the above.

    Also, is there a way to make this pair more empathetic? That’s not to say that the main characters have to be “good” people, but being hot-tempered, stoned, and evidently greedy, aren’t qualities that alone give an audience much to hang their hat on. Could they at least have a noble cause motivating them?

     

     

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  3. Posted: February 20, 2020In: Comedy

    After his wife dies in a car accident, a man must face homelessness raising his three daughters.

    Best Answer
    Tony Byrd Penpusher
    Added an answer on February 22, 2020 at 3:59 am

    What do you mean by Examples?

    What do you mean by Examples?

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