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  1. Posted: June 12, 2019In: Comedy

    A group therapy each of them for a different self control problem decide to take revenge after hearing the new member story.

    Best Answer
    Mike Pedley Singularity
    Added an answer on June 12, 2019 at 8:01 pm

    This doesn't read properly. I'm confused as to what the story is actually about. Check out the "Our formula" tab for help with formatting.My questions that I have currently:Who's the protagonist?Who is getting revenge against who and how?How is this a comedy?Once this logline is in a more conventionRead more

    This doesn’t read properly. I’m confused as to what the story is actually about. Check out the “Our formula” tab for help with formatting.

    My questions that I have currently:

      1. Who’s the protagonist?
      2. Who is getting revenge against who and how?
      3. How is this a comedy?

    Once this logline is in a more conventional format, and at the very least provides answers to 1 & 2 above, it will be easier to offer more feedback.

    Fwiw, I do like what I think is the idea behind this. I need more information to understand it better though.

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  2. Posted: June 4, 2019In: Comedy

    When a shortage of decent male actors threatens to shut down the high school senior musical, a reserved teenager is coerced into being the romantic lead of her rival but she has more than acting on her mind as she finds herself falling for her costar.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 7, 2019 at 6:24 am

    >>. Drama teacher sees lead actress arguing with another girl and sees the chemistry that she wants in her two leads. Two girls have a fairly antagonistic relationship since the one girl wrote a bad review about a play the actress was in in the school newspaper, hence the rivals. So the teacheRead more

    >>. Drama teacher sees lead actress arguing with another girl and sees the chemistry that she wants in her two leads. Two girls have a fairly antagonistic relationship since the one girl wrote a bad review about a play the actress was in in the school newspaper, hence the rivals. So the teacher and lead actress convince the other girl to take the part and the two girls fall in love.

    Okay, thanks for the clarification.? So how is that supposed to work out practically?? One of them plays dressed and made up as a guy, right?

    I suggest it might make for a? stronger character if the protagonist volunteers to play the guy role.? ?The incentive? is professional as well as personal;? it’s a greater dramatic challenge, one that will look good on her acting resume. (Played Stanley Kowalski in ‘A Streetcar Named Desire.’ )

    So the teacher is the one who has be persuaded.? The protagonist auditions and the teacher is persuaded. She gets the role.

    Comedy and complications ensue.

    ?

    fww

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  3. Posted: June 4, 2019In: Comedy

    Two dirt poor, scrawny guys and a mighty viking fight for a golden sheep horn. Legend says, whoever blows the horn will receive great wealth from the sheep god, however the “legend” is just a made up prank.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 4, 2019 at 8:25 am

    >>however the ?legend? is just a made up prank.If this is the final payoff of the premise then it's a spoiler.? A logline should never give away a 3rd? Act Reveal or how the story ends.On the other hand, if it's an MPR (Midpoint Reveal) what becomes the objective goal that drives the rest of tRead more

    >>however the ?legend? is just a made up prank.

    If this is the final payoff of the premise then it’s a spoiler.? A logline should never give away a 3rd? Act Reveal or how the story ends.

    On the other hand, if it’s an MPR (Midpoint Reveal) what becomes the objective goal that drives the rest of the story after they realize they’ve been pranked?

    Which is it?? What is the story really about?

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