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Edited: When an seasoned womanizer transforms his female best friend from a clinger to a player and finds himself attracted to his new creation, but realizes the repercussions of his teachings is worst than he imagined. Don’t know if this one is better than my previous attempt.
I would try to shorten the first half of your logline, and use the space to expand on 'but realizes the repercussions of his teachings is worst (worse) than he imagined.' I would change your logline to something more like this: A seasoned womanizer transforms his female friend from clingy to player.Read more
I would try to shorten the first half of your logline, and use the space to expand on ‘but realizes the repercussions of his teachings is worst (worse) than he imagined.’
I would change your logline to something more like this: A seasoned womanizer transforms his female friend from clingy to player. He becomes attracted to his creation, who is now too suave and sophisticated for the likes of him.
See lessWhen a Nigerian foreign exchange student moves in with a white suburban, American family, cultural differences and close minded town ideals turns the once home, into a house of unrelated individuals
I like this logline a lot. I really like 'turns the once home, into a house of unrelated individuals'. I would try to shorten the first half of your logline, and focus more on these aspects of your script. I feel that 'cultural differences' and 'close minded town ideals' should be given more of an eRead more
I like this logline a lot. I really like ‘turns the once home, into a house of unrelated individuals’. I would try to shorten the first half of your logline, and focus more on these aspects of your script. I feel that ‘cultural differences’ and ‘close minded town ideals’ should be given more of an explanation.
See lessA quirky, slightly neurotic writer must overcome years of social anxiety and isolation in order to win the heart of the man she loves.
"quirky, slightly neurotic writer" ---> Why not put quirky, neurotic writer instead? "Must overcome years of social anxiety and isolation" ---> You should be a little more specific with how the character goes on about achieving the goal, maybe add a little more stakes?
“quirky, slightly neurotic writer” —> Why not put quirky, neurotic writer instead?
“Must overcome years of social anxiety and isolation” —> You should be a little more specific with how the character goes on about achieving the goal, maybe add a little more stakes?
See less