1. Posted: August 21, 2018In:

    When twin sisters contest to get young rich person, they face chaotic life.

    dpg Singularity

    Still not sure what the inciting incident is that kicks off the plot.? Whatever it is, it should upset the status quo. If the status quo is that their relationship is? conflicted from the git go because they were raised separately, then tossing a love interest into the mix doesn't really upset the sRead more

    Still not sure what the inciting incident is that kicks off the plot.? Whatever it is, it should upset the status quo.

    If the status quo is that their relationship is? conflicted from the git go because they were raised separately, then tossing a love interest into the mix doesn’t really upset the status quo.? Rather, it just intensifies an already conflicted relationship, makes a bad situation worse.

    So, it is more dramatically interesting if the status quo is that initially the relationship between the twins is harmonious.? And then introduce the love interest that upsets that status quo, creates discord and conflict between the two,

    fwiw

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  2. Posted: August 23, 2018In:

    A na?ve college graduate makes a wish to a shooting star that he could get any job he wanted and finds that the next day; no matter where is, what he wears and how he feels, people (including employees) assume he works there. He uses this strange new curse to infiltrate a UN meeting and try to trick the world leaders into agreeing to World Peace.

    dpg Singularity

    The logic of the logline seems disjunctive, muddled. The setup is that he wishes to get any job he wants.? Okay, so why is he being mistakenly confused as an employee in all kinds of jobs he doesn't want or at least has no interest in?What is the singular objective goal that drives the plot?? The plRead more

    The logic of the logline seems disjunctive, muddled. The setup is that he wishes to get any job he wants.? Okay, so why is he being mistakenly confused as an employee in all kinds of jobs he doesn’t want or at least has no interest in?

    What is the singular objective goal that drives the plot?? The plot seems to jump the rails from getting the job he wants to tricking others into world peace.? What is the dramatically logical leap from making a wish for himself to trying to trick others into world peace??

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  3. Posted: August 20, 2018In:

    When a desperate fugitive randomly chooses the house of a reclusive lock-in to hide out in, he must pander to her love-starved attention or risk being discovered by the police. – A dark romantic comedy.

    Solace1016 Logliner

    I LOVE this premise! Would like some kind of ticking-clock or increasing stakes beyond simply being discovered by police. Does she make him go out to buy her lingerie?? ?Is he engaged to another woman?? Is he gay? Although it's a different genre, it might be worth watching Misery!

    I LOVE this premise! Would like some kind of ticking-clock or increasing stakes beyond simply being discovered by police. Does she make him go out to buy her lingerie?? ?Is he engaged to another woman?? Is he gay? Although it’s a different genre, it might be worth watching Misery!

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