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When rather foolishly getting scammed and losing all her money, a rebellious teenage girl looking for independence from her controlling mother must team up with an elderly psychopathic bus driver in order to track down the ones who stole her money before it’s too late.
Nice logline, I like it. Perhaps you could rephrase "rather foolishly" and maybe bake it into the description of the character, something like "a rebellious but naive teenage girl". Just a suggestion. I like that there are stakes and a ticking clock, but what is providing the ticking clock? What wilRead more
Nice logline, I like it. Perhaps you could rephrase “rather foolishly” and maybe bake it into the description of the character, something like “a rebellious but naive teenage girl”. Just a suggestion. I like that there are stakes and a ticking clock, but what is providing the ticking clock? What will happen when it’s too late? You could be more specific there. Nice work!
See lessAfter having a fallout with her bandmates, a pop singer leaves and becomes a solo artist in her own right.
A bit wordy and confusing sentence structure and needs to address the conflict a bit more. Good premise tho
A bit wordy and confusing sentence structure and needs to address the conflict a bit more. Good premise tho
See lessAfter being fired from drinking on the job, a disc jockey teams up with a party planner to help him get sober and to help him with next gig.
Hi tony18, An alcoholic DJ who has lost his last gig asks a party planner to help him sober up and get his life under control. Is this what you are trying to say in your logline? Whether your answer is yes or no, click on the "FORMULA" icon at the top of this page and study the content a few times.Read more
Hi tony18,
An alcoholic DJ who has lost his last gig asks a party planner to help him sober up and get his life under control.
Is this what you are trying to say in your logline? Whether your answer is yes or no, click on the “FORMULA” icon at the top of this page and study the content a few times. This will help you in constructing your loglines.
Good Luck
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