1. Posted: March 21, 2018In:

    When a young man washes-up dead in a desolate coastal town, his self-centred estranged mother must fight against apathy and hostility to uncover the truth, at the risk of exposing her own culpability.

    dpg Singularity

    >>>the reveal that the drowned man is the protagonist?s son comes at the inciting incident ? there?s mystery up until that point as to what relationship,In the script , you can certainly open with nobody knowing the ID of the washed-up body.? For the purpose of a logline,? where economy ofRead more

    >>>the reveal that the drowned man is the protagonist?s son comes at the inciting incident ? there?s mystery up until that point as to what relationship,

    In the script , you can certainly open with nobody knowing the ID of the washed-up body.? For the purpose of a logline,? where economy of words is paramount (less is more, fewer is better),? it isn’t necessary.? Rather, it’s superfluous.?A logline begins with the inciting incident. — not with with happens before that plot beat.

    So CraigDGriffiths lead off –” When her estranged son is found dead” — does the job.

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  2. Posted: March 13, 2018In:

    A smooth talking, but psychologically damaged, criminal with face-blindness rips off a dangerous drug-lord with help from his tough-guy brother. When they are betrayed by their psychopathic accomplice, he must overcome his psychological challenges and track the psychopath through the underground world of experimental hallucinogenic psycho-therapy in order to retrieve the drugs and prevent his brother being murdered.

    dpg Singularity

    My takeaway is that if you are going to have a protagonist with face blindness, leverage it to the max; the plot should pivot on that disability. But? I'm not sure how it does in your latest iteration.>>>and confront his traumatic pastSo having face-blindness isn't of itself a big enough peRead more

    My takeaway is that if you are going to have a protagonist with face blindness, leverage it to the max; the plot should pivot on that disability. But? I’m not sure how it does in your latest iteration.

    >>>and confront his traumatic past

    So having face-blindness isn’t of itself a big enough personal problem to wrestle with?? And? conversely, if he “confronts his traumatic past” — whatever that entails — it won’t cure his face-blindness.? He will still have to cope with the disability every day of his life.? IOW: I think the face-blindness is his central personal problem,? past trauma is a sidebar issue.

    Whatever, for the purpose of a logline, the “traumatic past” is a subjective issue, hence extraneous, not necessary to mention in the logline.? Loglines are about protagonists striving toward an objective goals in the future, not dealing with subjective issues in the past.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: February 23, 2018In:

    When their son?s death triggers his wife?s mental disorder, a man soon discovers his mistress will do anything to get the grieving mother out of the way, and he must choose: his wife or her alter.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    'It was all in his or her head' like stories have been done to death (pardon the pun...), be very careful when pitching this. The whole, the wife is the mistress, last-minute twist will have very little impact now day and age. Stories are about action not choice making, what happens after he choosesRead more

    ‘It was all in his or her head’ like stories have been done to death (pardon the pun…), be very careful when pitching this. The whole, the wife is the mistress, last-minute twist will have very little impact now day and age.

    Stories are about action not choice making, what happens after he chooses? What does he do? What does the wife/mistress do?

    What kind of man is he? You need a better description than that for your main character in a logline.

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