The gap
Karel SegersLogliner
21 year old guy attempt's to jump his motorbike over a broken bridge but fail's when realising the gap in the bridge is to Wide
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I like the concept, but I feel like it’s missing the dramatic hook. What else is in his way, from preventing his goal? A girlfriend? Cops? State officials? Is he a daredevil trying to get permission from the state to Jump the bridge? Best of luck!
Is this a short film? I feel like you’ve explained everything – including the crisis moment – in the logline and I can’t see the potential for dramatic conflict.
Why is your character jumping over the broken bridge? What is at stake?