A 12 year-old drug dealer evades his police officer mother as the opioid crisis comes to town.

Protagonist: 12 year-old drug dealer. Protagonist could perhaps benefit with a little bit more description. For example, other than his drug dealing, what are his mannerisms? Tell me something about his personality to help me better envision this character.

Protagonist goal: Evading his police officer mother in midst of a opioid crisis. Evasion alone isn’t much of a goal. I can gather that the character was motivated by making easy money, but there isn’t much that stands out here. You need a compelling goal for the protagonist that the target audience is going to relate to. Evasion alone isn’t enough, especially when the protagonist has nowhere he wants to go in particular.

Antagonist: The protagonist’s mother happens to be a police officer.

Genre: Comedy / drama. Drama aside, nothing of this logline suggests comedy. The only perplexing element of this logline is that the antagonist is the protagonist’s mother, but not even that is enough to convey comedy is present. The best way I imagine one would suggest comedy in a logline would be to describe something that is blatantly ironic. Whether it be a character trait or a situation in question, irony is a good means of conveying comedy.

Inciting Incident: There is none.

Lastly the logline has plenty of room to grow. Lets assume you are limited by a 25 word length, if that’s the case you have another 7-8 words to play with (depending how you count hyphenated words). A lot can be said in 25 words, and with that I would suggest writing a similar logline but structure it in different ways. Make sure to include an Inciting Incident as it is one of the most impactful elements of a logline if implemented properly.