A bloodthirsty psychopath traumatized by the murder of his mother forms a group of dangerous terrorists with the goal of avenging his mother and destroying the criminals and gangsters of his town. He is later ought to face a famous and intelligent detective.
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A bloodthirsty psychopath traumatized by the murder of his mother forms a group of dangerous terrorists with the goal of avenging his mother and destroying the criminals and gangsters of his town. He is later ought to face a famous and intelligent detective.
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Who, Goal, Obstacle…This is the spine of what a logline is suppose to contain. This logline is a very good start…I say keep re-writing it to get it even more specific to the spine/core of your narrative. I highly suggest this be ONE sentence. I would re-write it something like this..(look below). But I think we’re still missing a specific obstacle or antagonist…I would suggest you re-visit your character’s goal and motivation, because just by reading the logline, I am not understanding his/her clear goal and motivation. Good luck!
A?vengeful psychopath traumatized by the murder of his mother forms a group of dangerous terrorists? to ?obliterate the gangsters of his town.
To clarify his goal and motivation , in few words ”KILL ALL CRIMINELS” that is why I used the word”Bloodthirsty” , ?the protagonist of my story is the ”psychopath” with his deluded and twisted sense of justice , the antagonist is the intelligent detective. ?The goal of this dangerous terrorist group is to fight crime in their own way and establishing their own justice , and here with the ”right” sense of justice. There are many characters I want to introduce and develop in this story. But the idea ”Justice , Crime , Psychos” is it a good one ?
To avenge his mother’s murder a man enlists a group of terrorists for a murderous rampage against the criminal underworld he blames.
Why would the audience want to root for a psychopath?
Why does he have to be a psychopath? ?Revenge is a normal motivation. ?It doesn’t require psychopathology to dramatically justify. ?What’s the point of making the protagonist a psychopath?
Everyone has touched on formatting so I have a couple of story/logic points. First of all if their goal is to “avenge” they are vigilantes. not terrorists.
And secondly, who are these other people joining him? How did he convince them? Why do they want to help? What is their stake? If it’s just him in a bta costume you’ve made his motivations clear but these other people are wildcards.
The group the main character forms are people who lost loved-ones the same way he lost his mother , they joined him in order to establish ?their ”law” and ”justice”. However because of the concept of revenge and their false justice , they are later transformed into a dangerous group of murders who believe nothing but their own lies and policy.
Don’t understand why the protagonist has to be a psychopath. ?If that’s the way he is from FADE IN:, what’s his character arc? I think it would be a stronger character arc, make for a more compelling story if he starts out as a normal, law abiding person who succumbs to the dark side of his nature when he begins to engage in “street justice” after failing to get legal justice.
fwiw