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A family-owned country club is inherited by a college dropout who struggles to prove his ability to manage the ongoing escapades of a chaotic work environment.
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I’ve got to be honest – there’s nothing technically wrong with this concept, but to me it just says “rich people problems”. A family struggling to save their drought-stricken farm or their tiny pizza restaurant, sure, I’ll root for them; but a country club full of rich people swilling champagne? Sorry, but that’s just not awakening any sympathy in me…
At the risk of sounding like a cliched dumb Hollywood exec: “Does it have to be a country club?” What is that setting giving you that you wouldn’t get from any other family business? (You may have a brilliant answer to that, of course – in which case, you need to find a way to get that uniqueness into the logline…)
I can understand the irony in a way. I guess the point is that it is a country club and the college-drop out is way out of his league trying to run it. It makes for a predictable arc, in that he will learn to run it, so I do think it works. I fail to recognise the genre though, and it feels like it could be a comedy sitcom as opposed to a film.
I think the log line needs strengthening as, although it is technically sound, it doesn’t really jump out and offer anything really fresh. It also doesn’t help that people are getting two different ideas about it so you need to focus on the main points of the story and make sure everyone understands the way you want to tell it.
Let me guess- stars Adam Sandler? Sounds like one of those screwball comedies from the 80’s- “Happy Gilmore”, “Up The River”, “Night Shift”. Some settings were ski resorts, golf courses, summer camps, etc.
If you start your logline with “As”, “When”, “After”, or “Because”, it forces to ASK and ANSWER the “question”. The problem as I see it is that it lacks any real GOAL or STAKES. His goal is to prove he can “manage a chaotic work environment”? Sounds like a fairly tame premise to devote to a ninety minute movie idea.
Why not have the dropout try to save the resort from foreclosure due to back taxes or something? It’s all a bit cliche, but, if done well, could be fun. The title’s excellent as well.
Geno Scala (sharkeatingman)- judge