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louisewildingLogliner
Posted: September 21, 20172017-09-21T00:45:45+10:00 2017-09-21T00:45:45+10:00In: Fantasy

A feisty female weretiger who just wants to hunt in peace, discovers a werecat trapped beneath the city, while realising that she is in love with her best friend Sally, as they team up with and unlikely ally to save the world from destruction.

A feisty female weretiger who just wants to hunt in peace, discovers a werecat trapped beneath the city, while realising that she is in love with her best friend Sally, as they team up with and unlikely ally to save the world from destruction.
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    2 Reviews

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    1. dpg Singularity
      2017-09-22T08:15:29+10:00Added an answer on September 22, 2017 at 8:15 am

      She just wants to hunt in ?peace… and then she’s gotta save the world from destruction? What is the inciting incident and ?what is the threat that it creates her that requires her to save the world? ?In the previous iteration ?you said describe the threat in terms of “an ancient hidden secret”. ?That’s hiding the game ball. ?The logline needs to reveal it.

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    2. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2017-09-24T13:24:16+10:00Added an answer on September 24, 2017 at 1:24 pm

      Agreed with? DPG.

      Also, the MC descriptions are lacking. “…female…” adds nothing to the reader’s understanding of what kind of person she is. What’s her flaw? What is the problem she needs to overcome in order to become a better person?

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