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music1358Logliner
Posted: April 8, 20182018-04-08T00:09:04+10:00 2018-04-08T00:09:04+10:00In: Thriller

A female vampire tracks a serial killer before he strikes again, pursued by both a police woman, vampire hunters and a victim from a hundred years ago bent on vengeance. As the net closes she must both face her past and save a young woman targeted as his next victim.

A female vampire tracks a serial killer before he strikes again, pursued by both a police woman, vampire hunters and a victim from a hundred years ago bent on vengeance. As the net closes she must both face her past and save a young woman targeted as his next victim.
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    2 Reviews

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    1. variable Uberwriter
      2018-04-08T02:30:36+10:00Added an answer on April 8, 2018 at 2:30 am

      You mentioned a century old victim, which means the targeted young woman can not be family to the female vampire.
      Since she would have outlived all possible family in 100 years.
      So WHY she aims to protect the young woman (the serial killer’s next target?) is unclear

      She’s chased down by three segments:
      police, vampire hunters and a victim
      Which seems useless

      Why she doesn’t take care of the vampire hunters (in her own way) remains a mystery to me.
      I don’t know why they are even mentioned here..

      Unless they have their respective places in the plot, I’d suggest you mix and match to create more interesting characters, like-
      1. A Vampire cop (her victim disguised as a cop leading the search against her) or
      2. Vampire hunter cop (human cop known for his traditional ways to deal with the mysterious cases)

      One thing’s for sure
      The serial killer is your antagonist
      But are you sure he can handle a vampire headed his way?
      For all I know he’s still a wimpy human to me and the day he meets the vampire, your story will come to an end.
      If he’s smart enough to evade her at each step….well, why would anyone watch something so un-cinematic?

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    2. dpg Singularity
      2018-04-08T05:11:11+10:00Added an answer on April 8, 2018 at 5:11 am

      The logline needs an inciting incident to explain why she has chosen to hunt down that particular serial killer.

      I also suggest you rethink, expand the concept.? To wit,? she’s not just tracking down a specific killer, she has made a career, a calling out of? tracking down serial killers, particularly cold cases.

      A female vampire who tracks down serial killers? — that’s your hook.? I suggest it could be a hook for a series, not just a feature film.? Each episode (or season) she pursues.? a different killer. (Of course there can be ghosts from the past to complicate her quest.)

      fwiw

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