A French bisexual woman likes to sleep with her victims before she eats them. When the zombies attack, she is faced with a moral dilemma.
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A French bisexual woman likes to sleep with her victims before she eats them. When the zombies attack, she is faced with a moral dilemma.
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Does her being french or bisexual have any impact on the rest of the logline — no it doesn’t so cut it. Choose a telling adjective to introduce your character which also explains why you chose them as your POV for this particular story. Furthermore, it doesn’t create so much of a?moral dilemma as a health dilemma because I wouldn’t feel bad for sleeping with or eating a zombie but still wouldn’t do it.
Also, as far as the structure goes you can easily merge those two sentences into one with a conjunctive which makes things flow much easier.
“A French bisexual woman likes to sleep with her victims before she eats them. When the zombies attack, she is faced with a moral dilemma.”
This doesn’t describe the plot.
What is the inciting incident? What is the event that upsets her status quo? What is the Uncle Ben’s death to this Peter Parker?
As a result of that event, what does the woman aim to do? What is the goal of the story? For example, Peter Parker wants to live up to his uncle’s teachings and use his great power responsibly.
What action does she take to achieve it? Peter Parker uses his smarts and powers to become Spider-Man, to save lives. What does you character do?
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As the others have said.
“Eat”??? ?Is she a cannibal or what?
And what’s her moral dilemma?
Agreed with all the above comments.
Also, I would find it hard to empathise with a main character who eats people – humans or zombies she’s a horrible person!
What redeeming qualities does she have to make her a potentially likeable character, if possible that is, I just can’t imagine it happening.