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dizzo1014Logliner
Posted: June 7, 20162016-06-07T08:46:49+10:00 2016-06-07T08:46:49+10:00In: Thriller

EDITED: A frustrated former big-city journalist, now stuck writing for her hometown paper, exploits a local college football scandal to re-jump start her career, but the situation quickly escalates when it threatens to expose her family?s secrets

EDITED: A frustrated former big-city journalist, now stuck writing for her hometown paper, exploits a local college football scandal to re-jump start her career, but the situation quickly escalates when it threatens to expose her family?s secrets
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    1. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2016-06-07T16:22:52+10:00Added an answer on June 7, 2016 at 4:22 pm

      This doesn’t describe a plot rather a situation.

      What is the goal, in detail, that the main character needs to achieve?
      Why is she desperate now? What’s the inciting incident that motivates her to need to achieve her goal?

      Generic descriptions such as “…a criminal conspiracy..” and “…connected to the local, powerhouse college football program.” should be avoided. Better if you describe the detail of the conspiracy and program that make them criminal and wrong instead of literally describing them as such.

      Check out the Training tab on the top bar for more information on how to structure a logline.

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    2. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2016-06-08T15:01:53+10:00Added an answer on June 8, 2016 at 3:01 pm

      Post edit, most of the same comments still apply.

      What is the goal, in detail, that the main character needs to achieve? How will she know her career has been jump started? Is it a Pulitzer prize she must win? Or a specific job offer she is after with one of the bigger news outlets? What ever it is it needs to be specified?in the logline.

      Why is she desperate now? What?s the inciting incident that motivates her to need to jump start her career? This needs clarification in the logline.

      Generic descriptions such as ??connected to the local, powerhouse college football program.? should be avoided, as they lack details necessary for a clear plot description.

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