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Posted: 2020-11-13T04:26:14+10:00 In:

A hardheaded businesswoman must convince an eccentric maker of wind chimes to sell his land if she hopes to complete her most ambitious real estate development and avoid bankruptcy

A hardheaded businesswoman must convince an eccentric maker of wind chimes to sell his land if she hopes to complete her most ambitious real estate development and avoid bankruptcy
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    3 Reviews

    1. Samurai

      Could be tightened if you’re open:
      1. Focus her profession to save on logline real estate.
      2. Up the ante with LOVE 😍
      Leaning towards:
      “A real estate mogul has one week to convince a handsome but eccentric maker of wind chimes to sell in order to avoid bankruptcy”

      Take care.

      • 0
    2. Singularity

      Why is it important that we know he makes wind chimes? I actually think it’s an interesting bit of character exposition but I’m wondering if that has any further purpose in the film. Could he be referred to as an eccentric craftsman or something instead?

      Odie hit on something interesting… this sounds like a rom-com… you’ve put it in drama, so I would consider doing something to either ramp up the serious dramatic beats, or push it further into rom-com territory.

      How is she going to “convince him”? Keep in mind that this is the bit that must sustain most of Act II (40mins+). I think even just suggesting she’s going to try increasingly more inventive methods would work.

      Hope this helps.

      • 0