A hometown bound 60 year old veteran is forced to reunite with his family across stranger seas. Right when he is about to leave behind his home, he finds companionship in his 30 year old neighbor. But when the inevitable D day arrives, he must lose one family to gain another.
trijainerthiPenpusher
A hometown bound 60 year old veteran is forced to reunite with his family across stranger seas. Right when he is about to leave behind his home, he finds companionship in his 30 year old neighbor. But when the inevitable D day arrives, he must lose one family to gain another.
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Must confess I’m confused. ?Hometown bound but about to leave? ?Does D-Day mean WWII?
Try to write it in one sentence in Karel’s format “When xxx happens, aaa must bbb to yyy” where xx is inciting incident, aaa is main character etc.
I seriously struggle to write a good logline from my own stories, because I’m too close to them. We need to step back and view the entirety from a viewer perspective, not our writing intent.
As Russel mentions, step back and create that tv-guide description before you hit the info button to learn more.
As you have so far, I can’t begin to think what’s important in your story to formulate helpful advice.
Agree with the others. ?At 51 words, this is too long for a logline. ?If you had to pitch the story as a twitter — and only 1 twitter — what would that twitter say?
Agreed with the above, study the guidelines in the ‘Formula’ tab on the top bar and re draft it.
A few good starting points:
What is the MC’s character flaw?
What specifically MUST the MC achieve?
What motivates the MC to achieve his goal?