A jaded 40 something, estranged daughter, has to take care of her mother who suffers from Alzheimer while trying to get pregnant before it?s too late for her?

RoseVilaflor:

This is my initial response to both versions of your concept.

Your concept deals with two timely issues for the the female children of baby boomers: the ticking biological clock for motherhood, and children forced to become the parents of their parents when their parents are struck by the afflictions of old age that make them as helpless as children.

My initial reaction favors this story line which focuses on one daughter rather than an ensemble. ?Though there certainly could be other siblings in the supporting cast, it is almost always better to plot the story in terms of one primary character (aka: protagonist).

It is also best practice to frame the story with one objective goal for the protagonist. ?It seems to me the obvious candidate for the objective goal for the 40-something daughter is to become a parent before it’s too late. ?It’s ?positive, and proactive, a task assumed voluntarily and with eager anticipation.

Whereas taking care of her mother is involuntary and undertaken with the prospect of a tremendous, unpleasant, protracted ordeal.

So I would rework the logline to focus on her objective goal of becoming a mother before it’s too late. ?Her mother descending into Alzheimer’s disease is a complication. ?(And there may be others associated with finding the right guy or at least sperm donor or overcoming issues with fertility)

Finally, ?I don’t see how jaded is particularly germane and congruent to the dramatic predicament she faces.?

fwiw