A junior level cyber crimes analyst searches for the truth behind a college student?s death and a smartphone App that supposedly takes the life of whoever agrees to its terms of service. Now she must find the tech savy killer before he strikes his next victim, her family.

Good start.

Next take, add the manner in which people die because I expect that to be more than just them collapsing. Or say more about the terms. There are a few movies (and many scripts) with killer phones so details are important to make this stand out. The details can also help clarify if this is a slasher horror or a dark thriller.

>> A junior level cyber crimes analyst

This means she’s close to having all the ability to finding the perp. Instead, consider a protag who would have a harder time succeeding. If this is a slasher or otherwise for that general market, then is such a protag ideal? Usually the protag is teen to college-age because of the people who watch that kind of flick.

When in the script do you see the protag’s family being targeted? If it’s the Midpoint or earlier, make it meatier in the logline. If it’s Act III, no need for it in the logline and it’s anyway assumed she or a loved one would end up in the crosshairs,

Once she knows the family is targeted, wouldn’t it be easy to prevent danger by telling them not to? download or use that app? This connects to the first comment…need more for the mental picture and sharpness of the hook.