A lonely stoner scientist develops a method for reversing zombification thanks to a girl he used to smoke weed with then sets out to find and cure his girlfriend but ends up having feelings for his old friend on the way.
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A lonely stoner scientist develops a method for reversing zombification thanks to a girl he used to smoke weed with then sets out to find and cure his girlfriend but ends up having feelings for his old friend on the way.
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What’s the inciting incident? What is the event that kick starts the story?
How does the fact that he’s perpetually stoned play into the story? How does the fact he’s a scientist impact the story? There needs to be some obvious connection between his occupation, characteristics and the goal he’s trying to achieve.
Is his goal to win back his girlfriend or rescue her? If she’s a zombie how is he going to win her back? As a zombie, surely she’s not capable of a rational thought like deciding that she wants to be his girlfriend again.
How is this zombie film going to be different? The zombie sub-genre is massively oversaturated and it’s really rare for one to stick in people’s minds. Warm Bodies was a great, original take and it still got lost a bit amid the hoards. How is yours going to stand out? What’s your hook?
I look forward to the next draft.
Sounds interesting.
If the teenagers are all stoned are they really going to be living out their apocalyptic fantasies? Surely they’d just be sitting there getting high?
Why does the scientist have to be stoned too? I worry that if too many people are stoned, the comedy that can be drawn from it is diluted. Would it not be better to have the scientist as a straight-laced, control freak who learns to let go? In my opinion, the comedy of stoners is funniest when compared to either a) what that character is like normally or b) everyone who’s not high. When Brian?gets high in The Breakfast Club, it’s his divergence from the character we’ve seen through the rest of the film that makes it funny. In True Romance, Brad Pitt’s character is hilarious when faced by the mob guys because of the huge contrast between them. They’re all serious, suits, sunglasses and guns, and he’s just in a vest baked off his tits and not really giving a shit. Funny!
Is it the scientist who discovers that weed is the cure or the teenagers?
I’m not sure I really see how the girlfriend really fits in to all this at the moment. How hard is it going to be for the scientist to rescue her from a group of stoners?
If this is a feature length I think you might struggle to keep the audience interested currently. Definitely think there’s something in all this, I just think you need to think more about how it’s all gonna fit together.
The scientist gets high on a specific time released dosed that he formulated as a hobby.? He’s been high for most of his adult life and functions normally, recently he got fired and dumped for his outed THC dependence.? that’s why he’s the only ‘stoner’ that can figure out the connection that THC prevents and cures zombification (Im thinking of saving this revolation for the midpoint).? all the others are so stoned you can barely tell the difference between them and zombies.? some don’t smoke enough and turn into zombies. And yes the teens will be mostly whimsy when they talk about killing zombies and the round them up… one of them is actually a little crazy because weed make him paranoid to up the stakes….? There’s also a side buddy romance that ends up being the actual romance (maybe) as he goes on an adventure with another seasoned cannabis user.? The ark is he has to accept himself and live the life that inspires him rather than conform to what others expectations are… his ex is portrayed as controlling and superior.? he has to make the journey from inferior to superior and believing in himself.? the epolog has him saving the world and his ex trying to come back to him when he is famous and he rejects her.? a full turn from the begining scene where he is dumped and fired.
So everybody in the movie is stoned? And when they don’t smoke enough they turn into zombies? I don’t see how it’s only this scientist who is able to figure out the obvious connection.
This buddy romance, how does this relate to the main plot? If it results in being the main romance, doesn’t it undermine the protagonist’s goal to get his ex back? What’s the adventure they go on and how does that relate to the main plot?
If his ex is controlling and superior why do we want him to get back with her?
Are the teenagers the antagonists?
Your characteristics for the protagonist are that he’s lonely and a stoner… this suggests his arc is to find somebody and not be a stoner. If you want to suggest he lacks confidence and uses the weed as a coping mechanism then suggest that instead.
Honestly, I would simplify the story. The best stories are remarkably simple when you break them down. All the elements fit together.
When his ex-girlfriend is bitten by a zombie, a timid bio-chemist with a weed habit must develop a cure if he’s ever going to win her back.
This version, while not perfect, has a strong inciting incident, his characteristics suggest an internal arc, an occupation that matches the demand in the story, and the weed element (which hints at the stoner side), a clear goal (although arguably two goals that are interconnected) and does away with everything that, in my opinion, isn’t necessary. You can still have the subplots and teenagers etc but I think they are superfluous in the logline. They don’t change the primary goal. Again, this logline isn’t great – it’s not particularly exciting and doesn’t do much to suggest the world they’re in, but you get the idea.
The current version is confusing and completely buries what seems to be a potentially interesting?story hook: the discovery that pot can immunize the general population from becoming zombies.? Unbury and focus on the story hook.