Movie: Soul (Pixar)
saurin desaiPenpusher
A music teacher has a fatal accident, just as he was to achieve his dream of playing jazz professionally, and lands in the ‘Great Before’, from where he desperately tries to find his way back to his body.
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Great movie. Concerning the logline, multiple comma usage is generally frowned upon. Try to reconstruct with no commas – would be a fun logline challenge.
Thank you, Odie, for your review and your inputs. I was unaware that multiple commas are frowned upon in loglines.
Here’s a slightly revised version: A music teacher who is about to achieve his dream of playing jazz professionally has a fatal accident and lands in the ‘Great Before’ from where he desperately tries to find his way back to his body.
Regards
I disagree about the comma comment. As long as they’re used grammatically correctly, they SHOULD improve the sentence’s readability.
Here’s another take on this logline:
“When a jazz musician on the brink of a career breakthrough lands in the ‘Great Before’ after an accident, he must find a way back to his body.”