Penpusher
Posted: 2016-02-04T06:05:53+10:00 In:

A private investigator must uncover the truth behind the murder of a rich doctor in a remote country mansion, but is perplexed by stories of a Welsh phantom haunting the residence.

A private investigator must uncover the truth behind the murder of a rich doctor in a remote country mansion, but is perplexed by stories of a Welsh phantom haunting the residence.
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    2 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      The private investigator needs to be more than “perplexed”.? He needs to be threatened by inexplicable phenomena that suggest the stories aren’t fables, but factual.? And who cares about the death of a rich doctor in a remote country mansion?? What at stake — what is to be gained by the person who hired him if he solves the murder?

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    2. Singularity

      Why must he uncover the truth? What is the inciting incident?
      The logline doesn’t dramatize the motivating event that pushed the main character to do what he or she does.

      If all the main character is doing is their job then the story will be rather weak, is there an event out of the ordinary that happens to this investigator which propels them into the plot?

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