A racially prejudices cricket fan about to lose the family hotel goes back in time with his prospective Indian son in law and must overcome his prejudices if he is to get back to his own time and save the pub.
hospasLogliner
A racially prejudices cricket fan about to lose the family hotel goes back in time with his prospective Indian son in law and must overcome his prejudices if he is to get back to his own time and save the pub.
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Going back in time feels contrived. ?It makes the story seems unnecessarily complicated because even in a comedy, you have to explain how he travels back in time. ?And then how he gets back to the present. ?How is it possible for him to travel back in time just because he wants to?
After reading both loglines, I don’t see why he must travel back in time. ?I don’t see why can’t he deal with his prejudices and problems in the present.
“Racially prejudiced”? is the same as “racist”, so you could cut out one word there.? And If he’s racist, I can’t imagine he’d have many viewers on his side.? Maybe his flaw could be about cricket prejudice or hotel prejudice, or pride or stubbornness.
Because he is a cricket fan, I’m guessing he is going back in time to a cricket match? If not, why mention that he is a cricket fan?? If he is,? would be good to see that mentioned.? ?? Otherwise, I don’t understand why he is going back in time.
The logic employed at the base of your concept doesn’t work.
If the hotel is an ancient Aboriginal sacred ground, then how would he prevent the hotel from being taken away by traveling back in time?
If it isn’t the case then how will traveling back in time,?prevent?him from losing the hotel in the present for what ever reason it is that he loses it?
I think best to devise an inciting incident that forces him to take action, which logically prevents the hotel from being taken away?other wise, as DPG noted, ?the time travel element is unrelated and convoluted.