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Tony ByrdPenpusher
Posted: February 17, 20202020-02-17T09:18:42+10:00 2020-02-17T09:18:42+10:00In: Crime

After being diagnosed with an terminal illness, a radio host take down drug lords in order to pay for her cancer treatment.

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    3 Reviews

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    1. Keymiser Logliner
      2020-02-17T14:34:55+10:00Added an answer on February 17, 2020 at 2:34 pm

      I don’t know, am not a fan of the fact she go and do a drug deal when she has terminal illness, there’s no character growth present, and definitely not established in the logline. I’d think she’d do something more positive before she ends up dying.

      Also, what is this terminal illness? could mean a lot of things that put her in risk of dying..

      This doesn’t give me a sympathetic feeling for this character that okay she has a terminal illness and at stake of dying but need more depth of what caused this to begin with and is there a way she can overcome her negatives into a positive something she didn’t realize in the beginning. Your character always have to have a change of heart in his/her story.

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    2. Lotcher Samurai
      2020-02-17T18:27:26+10:00Added an answer on February 17, 2020 at 6:27 pm

      I’m not sure if you saw this on one of your other loglines but here is some resources to help you develop your skills.

      • Fast Screenplay ? The Producer?s Perspective Part 1
        • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r01B6mPXMjU&ab_channel=FASTScreenplay

       

      • Fast Screenplay ? The Producer?s Perspective Part 2
        • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJxS4p8ZzZc&t=1s&ab_channel=FASTScreenplay

       

      • The Script Lab ? How to Write a Logline
        • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4a9JRjP86Q&ab_channel=TheScriptLab

       

      • D4Darious ? How to Write Compelling Loglines
        • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvlWd2tz4xg

       

      Hope this helps.

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    3. dpg Singularity
      2020-02-19T08:24:41+10:00Added an answer on February 19, 2020 at 8:24 am

      Reads like a knock off of “Breaking Bad”.

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