A sixty-year-old man invests everything he has in order to find his ancestor?s treasure until he is drowning in debt, while his son cycles across the country to find him and take him back home.
ZenPenpusher
A sixty-year-old man invests everything he has in order to find his ancestor?s treasure until he is drowning in debt, while his son cycles across the country to find him and take him back home.
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Is the story the son coming to get him, or is it his hunt for his ancestors?
If it’s the hunt, why is he doing? What is stopping his success?
Whose story is it– who is the main character, the father or the son? ?And what is the inciting incident? ?The father beginning to look for the treasure? ? Or his going broke triggering the son’s trip to fetch him home?
“A sixty-year-old man invests everything he has in order to find his ancestor?s treasure until he is drowning in debt, while his son cycles across the country to find him and take him back home.”
Sent broke by his father’s journey to find an ancestor’s treasure a boy must cycle across the country to retrieve his father.
I can’t see how the treasure hunt and the cycling will impact on each other. ?We need to be able to make that connection for them to both be in the logline. ?What triggers the cycling, this maybe a good ticking clock which drive the urgency of the cycling. ?Something like:
A boy cycles across the country to find his dad and stop him from sending them both broke chasing an ancestor’s treasure.
Can you drop us a few paragraphs on what the story is?
I think the story line focused on the son rescuing the father is the stronger ?of the two. ? Because the father is trying to get rich ?– he’s pursuing a selfish goal. ?In contrast, the the son is trying to ?pursue a selfless goal — save his father from his folly. ?And selfless goals are always more emotionally engaging goals than selfish ones.
Either way, the bulk of the 2nd Act would be the son “cycling” (motorcycle) cross country. ? ?But if the son’s objective goal is to rescue the father, the rescue shouldn’t wait until the 3rd act ?to actually ?commence face-to-face.
Unless you’ve got other fish to fry in terms of your theme. ?What’s the story really about? ?Is it a road trip, about the young man’s Odyssey cross country? ? And what’s the thematic tissue that ties the 2 story threads (father on a treasure hunt, son on a road trip) together? ?What’s their common denominator (besides the fact they’re a family)?
fwiw
Or perhaps the story could begin with the son showing up to bring his father home after he (the father) has failed. ? The plot would be their journey of discovery and reconciliation on the cross country journey back. ?With the son in the driver’s seat, the father as the passenger ?–a twist on the father-son relationship in “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance”.
fwiw