A soon-to-be heiress must overcome her atheism to make amends for her father’s past to inherit his fortune, but when Satan intervenes, it becomes a fight for her future.
ChristopherPenpusher
A soon-to-be heiress must overcome her atheism to make amends for her father’s past to inherit his fortune, but when Satan intervenes, it becomes a fight for her future.
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The logline describes several unrelated plot points and story elements.
Becoming religious in the present doesn’t logically relate to ones parent’s past mistakes, this may some how be explained in the story, but seems highly implausible in the logline. In addition, inheriting a fortune seems entirely un related to atheism and religion, which makes for a week cause and effect relationship between these elements.
Other wise the plot is vague, what is the inciting incident? What is her goal? What is her flaw?
These questions need to be answered in the next draft of this logline for the concept to make sense.
Hope this helps.
Atheism isn’t a flaw to be overcome. It would make more sense to describe her as a skeptic.
Other than that, like Nir mentioned, it’s a hot mess of story elements that don’t easy form a coherent story.