Logliner
Posted: 2016-09-19T00:28:16+10:00 In:

A spunky, plump girl pursues her quest to win a beauty-pageant, and in the process her family unite and each transforms into his/her higher self.

A spunky, plump girl pursues her quest to win a beauty-pageant, and in the process her family unite and each transforms into his/her higher self.
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    1 Review

    1. Singularity

      The logline has the makings for an interesting story, ?a character with a dream and a flaw that seems to prevent her from attaining it.

      However, a logline is about objective goals (winning the beauty pageant), not subjective needs (transforms into his/her higher self). ?And a logline should never contain a spoiler, a give away as to how the story ends.

      So:

      A spunky but plump girl pursues her dream of winning a beauty pageant.

      Or to enhance the dramatic conflict, maybe something like:

      A spunky but plump girl pursues her dream of winning a beauty pageant in spite of universal ridicule and rejection.

      (Yes, all may end well, and her family may rally around her in the end, but for maximum dramatic effect, ?the story needs to start from a baseline of opposition, ridicule, rejection on the part of family, friends, strangers–everyone.)

      fwiw

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