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kpetrakis01Logliner
A struggling Aborginal widow is determined to make her 4 bi-racial daughters into a huge international girl band to guarantee they’ll never see poverty again.
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1. Is this a credible premise? Do you want the audience to actually believe that she has a chance or to perceive her as delusional?
2. OK, lets say this is her desire. What action does she take in order to achieve her goal of making her them superstars?
3. What about the daughters themselves? Is this their dream, too? If it is, then why aren’t they the protagonist?
I’m not sure about the Aboriginal culture, so I’m not going to comment on the credibility.? I think there needs to be some sense of timing/urgency worked into the logline, through an inciting incident/threat rather than just “being determined to make it”.? Maybe talk about a chance the widow took that pays off, and the make or break opportunity the film can lead up to.
I think it’s an interesting idea.? However, who’s going to write the music to accompany the script? I mean, if you’re a musician and can supply the score as well as the script, great.? Otherwise, composing original musics or obtaining the rights for other composers’ music is going to cost.
Just saying.
The logic at the base of the premise doesn’t hold up.
If she genuinely wants to guarantee that her daughters won’t be poor, wouldn’t getting them a higher education provide a greater chance of success in that sense?
Beg to differ.? In real life, there are stage moms (and dads) who see a particular talent in their kids as tickets out of poverty,. ? They exist not only in entertainment but also in professional sports.? Sure the odds are long, but the? pay off can be so high that taking a chance is irresistible. (Just like tens of millions play the lottery every week despite the odds.)
If she is a ‘stage mum’, describe her as such – perhaps a failed performer in her own right. Otherwise, she comes across as silly, and the premise makes little sense.