A team of thrill-seeking angels, who get their kicks BASE jumping into hell, uncover a plot by the most nefarious gangster in the underworld to take control of the human realm.
Alan SmitheePenpusher
A team of thrill-seeking angels, who get their kicks BASE jumping into hell, uncover a plot by the most nefarious gangster in the underworld to take control of the human realm.
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Well, that certainly sounds not-seen-that-before. I’m already visualising the angels base jumping into hell, should be one hell of a set piece 🙂
You might shorten it to “A team of thrill-seeking angels base jump into hell and uncover a plot…”
“Gangster” suggests to me someone not completely at par with thrill-seeking angels – is it essential that it be a gangster or could it be a demon? Right now, the antagonist sounds too weak. So does “take control” – what would he do once he has control? Kill all humans? Enslave them? Could help to raise the stakes here (and if angels and hell are involved, the stakes better be really high 🙂
Once they discover the plot what do they do?
The answer to the above question is essentially the goal, and currently missing from the logline.
Was the discovery the inciting incident or was there another event that sparked their interest to uncover the plot? This is important as it defines how and when he story starts.
Lastly agreed with CMathias the antagonist sounds weak especially compared with the Devil, which would obviously be there to some degree.