A unacknowledged nerd-jock joins the Tycan collective to save earth from the devastating Kirillian armada, and humanity from itself.
nocturnedkPenpusher
A unacknowledged nerd-jock joins the Tycan collective to save earth from the devastating Kirillian armada, and humanity from itself.
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A unacknowledged nerd-jock joins the Tycan collectives war against the devastating Kirillian Armada to save humanity from itself.
like this better however it still feels off. help someone?
nocturne,
What I don’t like is that you aren’t describing these waring factions the way a layman would.
“An unacknowledged nerd-jock” What does that mean? unacknowledged by whom? How can someone be a nerd and a jock at the same time? Wasn’t there entire movies that laid the groundwork establishing the huge difference between the 2?
“Tycan collective” means nothing to me, as well as “Kirillian Armada” means nothing to me. They are devastating, so I guess they are the evil side?
An outsider uses his knowledge of physics after joining a resistance group to battle a ruthless armada intent on enslaving the entire universe.
ty for the answer helped a lot.
and of course, you can be a nerd-jock. as far as I know, it just has to be one who has both higher intelligence and higher physical abilities than most and get uncomfortable being in either social group for too long since they belong both places.
the best example I can think of must be Vin Diesel being an action star?+ bouncer in his early years as well as he plays dungeons and dragons. not quite what I would call a nerd-jock but close enough.
but again thanks for the help.
The logline describes “…the Tycan collectives…”? and the “…Kirillian Armada…” as if these are things the reader should know before reading the logline. Are these part of an existing IP? Or are these your inventions in the script?
If the latter, best describe them instead of naming them.
Secondly, the goal is unclear, what does “…save humanity from itself…” mean? And what will the MC actually do to save the world?