This is the story of a rich and successful kid drawing artist who tries to paint a river to fulfill his artistic ego before he leaves, but the success of that project makes him realize the huge price it took, his animal family who raised him but left because they need the water from the river to survive.
Alan SmitheePenpusher
A wealthy oblivious drawing artist raised by animals unfreezes a painted river to stop his artistic ego from not seeing his forest-dwelling family before he moves away from home.
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I do not understand the story world. If the kid wants to leave home, where would he go? Is the larger world full of human-like animals or is he crossing over to our world?
Does he literally paint over the river or does he create a painting of the river?
Is he rich and successful before the story begins?
Is the inciting incident the painting, or the discovery of the effects of the painting?
I would focus on the sites suggested log line format for now. [Flawed Protag] [Event] [Action]
It’s difficult to comment on the quality of the logline without being able to understand the plot.
I have all the same questions as Spencer222 and a few more:
How old is the protagonist?
Where is his home?
How did he become rich and successful?
How can you unfreeze a painted river? If this story has fantastical elements, it should be in the Fantasy genre.
Again, as Spencer222 said, check out this site’s suggested format and give it another go.
What is the event? the event has to happen to the protagonist. also try sticking to the formula, state the event then the character and then the action, it gives the reader a clearer understanding of what the story is.
good structure and tone, just needs to make sense.