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AvakasLogliner
Posted: November 2, 20172017-11-02T23:56:01+10:00 2017-11-02T23:56:01+10:00In: Thriller

A workaholic businesswoman changes lifestyle after her husband dies but when she suspects he faked his death she has to find him before her company does.

A workaholic businesswoman changes lifestyle after her husband dies but when she suspects he faked his death she has to find him before her company does.
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    3 Reviews

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    1. savinh0 Samurai
      2017-11-03T00:05:48+10:00Added an answer on November 3, 2017 at 12:05 am

      Sounds interesting.
      But I don’t get the last line “she has to find him before her company does”. Why is her company interested in finding him (first)?
      Does he have something they want for themselves?

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    2. Foxtrot25 Uberwriter
      2017-11-03T00:11:23+10:00Added an answer on November 3, 2017 at 12:11 am

      Agreed with savinh0,

      This sounds interesting up until the company part. She should need to find him quick to learn what the hell this is all about for herself, not in a race with a company. Leave that part out. Simply state that she needs to find him or “she goes back to drinking until she finds her,” or something to that effect.

      The company is just a nothing unless you take more space to explain what the hell that’s all about, and you don’t have the real estate in the logline to do that. If they have a reason to be in the story, then fine, it should be in the the story.

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    3. dpg Singularity
      2017-11-04T11:13:14+10:00Added an answer on November 4, 2017 at 11:13 am

      Why does she think he’s dead just because he’s disappeared?? A missing person isn’t necessarily mean a dead one.

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