Logliner
Posted: 2016-08-09T23:22:16+10:00 In:

A young man named Abdelhafid who suffers from personality disorder starts a show where he will go on exposing a woman who cheated on her husband , but after one of his personalities expose the case , another personality takes over and starts its own show where they expose the other shows

A young man named Abdelhafid who suffers from personality disorder starts a show where he will go on exposing a woman who cheated on her husband , but after one of his personalities expose the case , another personality takes over and starts its own show where they expose the other shows
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    4 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      There is no need to user proper name in a logline. ?The preferred practice is to describe distinctive character traits not character names.

      >>>exposing a woman who cheated on her husband ,

      That’s it? ?Only one? ?And then the show has finished its run?

      >>the other shows.

      What are the other shows? ?And so what? ?That is, what are the stakes, the blow back, the consequences for “exposing them”? ?What does the character stand to gain or lose?

      The logline reads like a gag — split personalities — in search of a plot. ?The split personality gag has been fodder for many comedy films — but within the framework of a plot. ?I just don’t see what the plot framework is for this one.

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    2. Logliner

      The story is actually not focused on the woman who cheated on her husband , I mostly wanted to illustrate how Medias and entertaining shows works on exposing and humiliating people’s lives.

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    3. What? This literally made no sense to me! You changed the story halfway through for no reason — what other shows? Why is he even doing the first show about the cheating women? Is it only about cheating women or men too? And the hell type of producer would give this guy a show like that?

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    4. Singularity

      If your goal is to comment on how cheap run-of-the-mill reality shows exploit people, I believe the premise needs work.

      As the others have noted, the plot is unclear and the concept vague. However the subject matter can be interesting, try to distill your character and actions down to a clear goal and motivation combo.

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