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mateekaqPenpusher
Posted: August 30, 20162016-08-30T23:46:58+10:00 2016-08-30T23:46:58+10:00In: Crime

A young reporter and her Olympian interview subject clash when she digs into his past to reinvestigate the notorious murder she believes his father was wrongly convicted for ? a murder for which he pled guilty.

A young reporter and her Olympian interview subject clash when she digs into his past to reinvestigate the notorious murder she believes his father was wrongly convicted for ? a murder for which he pled guilty.
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    3 Reviews

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    1. dpg Singularity
      2016-08-31T00:46:26+10:00Added an answer on August 31, 2016 at 12:46 am

      What’s the story about? ?The clash between the reporter and the athlete? ?Or is the story about the reporter’s struggle to uncover the truth about the murder and why the father pleaded guilty?

      What’s her objective goal? ?To mend relations with the athlete or get to the bottom of the murder?

      I’m guessing the latter and ?so suggest the logline be reworked to focus on her investigation. ? Loglines are about the most important?dramatic problem, the action that drives the plot. ?The conflict with the athlete seems to be an aggravating ?and complicating issue, ?but not the most important dramatic problem ?(And, no doubt, there is a Big Reveal that explains why he is so upset at her digging into the case. )

      fwiw

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    2. [Deleted User]
      2016-08-31T02:35:41+10:00Added an answer on August 31, 2016 at 2:35 am

      This is two stories in one logline. A reporter-subject story which is always interesting if done well or a reporter/mystery story which I think is played out. And it doesn’t make much sense either — why does she think the father is innocent? And why would the subject be upset about that, are you hinting that he is actually guilty? This one needs a lot of work.

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    3. mateekaq Penpusher
      2016-08-31T07:52:28+10:00Added an answer on August 31, 2016 at 7:52 am

      Thanks for your feedback! Based on your comments, it’s pretty clear I’m not getting the core of my story across at all.?I’ll be reworking what I have!

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