A young, teen girl designs an app to control a robot that can cure paralysis, but when her disabled mother falls seriously ill, and her mentor plagiarises her design and sells it to a multi-national, the only way to expose the truth is to compete against them at an International Robotics Competition.
GStarLogliner
A young, teen girl designs an app to control a robot that can cure paralysis, but when her disabled mother falls seriously ill, and her mentor plagiarises her design and sells it to a multi-national, the only way to expose the truth is to compete against them at an International Robotics Competition.
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A young scientist must compete for her?paralysis curing?algorithm, stolen and patented by her mentor, before her mother dies.
54 words reduced to 20 .
Question is, why she can’t reproduce the algorithm? Isn’t coma something like a dead brain? Can brain in coma control through this algorithm a paralyzed body?
Besides the length, you begin this about the teen and his setup then immediately change to someone else. Who is the Protagonist here? You must decide and then focus on a single angle.
I don’t see how winning the competition solves the problem of ownership of the patent.? That’s a legal problem and can only be solved by litigation in the courts — not by participating in a competition.? And the premise is that she must gain control of her innovation in order to use it to save her mother, right?
And while the algorithm may solve the problem of her mother’s paralysis I don’t see how her algorithm will prevent her mother from dying. That’s a separate medical issue.? ?Or help her come out of a coma. That’s a separate medical issue.? Mobiliy, conscious awareness, life? — the? logline juggles 3 distinct medical issues but doesn’t say that the algorithm is a silver bullet that solves all three.
And yes, the setup doesnt much work – algorithm + patenting of it + urgency of mother dying … putting it all together to make the device / treatment seems to be lengthy process. More likely the girl (I can;’t imagine teen to build a working prototype) young scientist designs some machine/prototype that can help different kind of illness her close relative has, and then corporation steels it for commercial purposes and she needs to win that back … somehow. Perhaps sneak in her mother to get into the machine? Mentor would serve better as some kind of B story, helping her out with all the stuff. Corporation as an antagonist seems more dangerous.