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variableUberwriter
Posted: January 8, 20182018-01-08T14:28:09+10:00 2018-01-08T14:28:09+10:00In: Comedy

after a bizarre experience in his lawn, a know-it-all businessman seeks out the-indian-guru-next-door to-instead-find himself in the drug business with a hippie

>>>the bizarre experience in his lawn —
…he mistaking burns a pile of twig from his neighbors lawn, which was pot. When the neighbor walks out, our guy saw him as higher order instead and then his whole day was a bit weird after that too

>>> a know-it-all businessman seeks out the-indian-guru-next-door —
…so he thinks there’s something about the mysterious indian he doesn’t know. That something turns out to be a marijuana green house on his rooftop

>>> to-instead-find himself in the drug business with a hippie —
…he’s an ambitious home schooled top gun who discovers drugs for the first time and relaxes a little
but gets in a bigger mess–than what he had on his hands before (mid life crisis)–after in a “high”, he signs an illegal contact to manage his pot business

the question is
is it possible that the contract dismisses him from revealing all this info to the DEA or else ______?

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    1. Best Answer
      variable Uberwriter
      2018-01-09T02:41:30+10:00Added an answer on January 9, 2018 at 2:41 am

      a slightly better take II..

      “After a topgun determines to get high for the first time, he find himself in a contract to manage a pot business, two days before his own media firm is to partner up with the DEA against the same issue”

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    2. Best Answer
      Neer Shelter Singularity
      2018-01-09T15:48:01+10:00Added an answer on January 9, 2018 at 3:48 pm

      The concept is confusing.

      A few questions that come to mind are:

      Mid-life crisis or not, why would a “…top gun…” business man change his business if he is already successful?
      I assume “…top gun…” means very good, perhaps best to change the description to something more relevant like ‘a shark’.

      Since it’s set in the US, a marijuana business would be legal in most states – why would the DEA take issue with him?

      What does a media firm have to do with drug enforcement?

      Other than the logic flaws, what is his major problem? Is it the DEA? The media firm? A decline in business? What is his goal?

      As a logline’s primary function is to describe a plot, it needs a main character, an inciting incident and a goal – something you can’t have a strong plot without. It seems as though most of your concepts suffer from similar issues, I strongly suggest you read through other posts or the ‘Formula’ tab on the top bar for a more detailed explanation.

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