After a dancer loses her competition, she turns to a skilled street fighter to up her game for the upcoming competition.
LeviathanSamurai
After a dancer loses her competition, she turns to a skilled street fighter to up her game for the upcoming competition.
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This is a remake of one the other log lines I wrote. When I used the word “game”, You can use performance or game for the competition. I just this one is better than the last one.
I find it interesting.
kindly add more detail such as “how exactly does he ups her game?”
(also, where is the major conflict?)
does the plot have a possibility for them to fall in love and complicate the things a little bit?
good luck leviathan!!!
PS. have you seen the Peaceful Warrior (2006) by Victor Salva?
When a dancer loses a competition and her sponsors for being too unimaginative, she must convince an expert MMA fighter to ?instill discipline and teach her new moves for the upcoming dance contest: her last chance to qualify for the National Championship.
a little too wordy, but I have tried to add tension with a clear goal and stated stakes: her last chance to qualify for the Championship.
i have swapped skilled street fighter for expert MMA fighter. To me Street Fighter conjures the idea of brawler, not necessary the kind of people you would associate with discipline and hard work. BTW, I initially thought that you meant skilled street fighter as in the console/arcade game, I was wondering how a eSport specialist could help her at dancing.
Valentin, I wasn’t referring to a computer nerd. A hand to hand combatant is more where this logline was leading. Street fighter, mma fighter, it was essentially the same idea or lead of possibilities. As to how the dancer lost the competition, I found that unimportant in the logline. It took up too much space and made it too wordy. It was that the dancer lost the competition that was the inciting incident that caused her to look for a new dance partner, ergo the fighter, to improve her performance for the upcoming competition. As to how, I’m hoping I can leave that out to inspire some faith and imagination as to what a fighter can do to help her improve. Not to mention, a fighter also has conflicts. As to what, you’ll have to wait for the release of the script to find out what his challenges and growth is.
I agree that It is unimportant to know why the dancer lost the competition from the Logline. My objective was just to explain why she would hire a skilled MMA fighter. A dancer is about grace and fluidity, clearly not something you associate with a street brawler.
Your hook is that she is hiring somebody unexpected to win that challenge. However in the concept of the Logline, that hook has to lead to a “why not, I dig that” reaction rather than a “wtf, that does not make sense” reaction. ?You don’t want your Logline becoming a meme. why not hire a plumber or a skydiver?
You need something in your Logline to tell that hiring that skilled street fighter makes sense.