A WIP about a grandfather/father/son trio coming face to face with old, violent ways of child raising, it’s effects on mental health, and how to come to terms with our past and break the cycle for future generations. Think a of a male centered version of Natalie Erika James’ beautiful “Relic”, but focused on male violence, rage, and trauma.
Ben BassoPenpusher
After a shadow figure haunts his son, an impulsive man embarks on a journey to his childhood home to reconnect with his violent father and avoid passing on generational trauma.
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This is good, but what I would like to see cleared up is the ‘ shadow figure haunts his son’ how does this fit into the rest of the story? Does it come back that the father knows who this figure is? Does this figure remind him of the past? At the moment I don’t see how it ties into the big picture.
Thanks for the review! I’ve been thinking about how to get that in there. The main idea is that this shadow figure is male violence and impulsiveness personified. I intend to eventually reveal that either the father or grandfather is the figure in the eyes of the child. Perhaps this logline doesn’t capture that. Maybe I should start with the man embarking on this journey and then introducing the shadow figure as he confronts his father. Something like:
“An impulsive man embarks on a journey to his childhood home to reconnect with his violent father, but when a dark entity starts haunting his own son during their stay, he must face it and come to terms with the past or risk passing on generational trauma”
Or something along those lines.
Thanks again for taking the time to read and review this, I appreciate it and it helps a lot. All the best!