After being a result of a failed superhuman strength enhancing experimentation. A young boy must find a way to escape and run away from his oppressive family of assassins in order to achieve his dream of living like an ordinary human being.
AO31Logliner
After being a result of a failed superhuman strength enhancing experimentation. A young boy must find a way to escape and run away from his oppressive family of assassins in order to achieve his dream of living like an ordinary human being.
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I think there is a potentially interesting story in the logline, but it needs clarification and, perhaps, refocusing.
What is the 2nd Act about? ?His trying to escape? ?Or his trying to blend in as an ordinary human after he has escaped?
For my ticket money, what happens after he escapes would be a stronger hook, his struggle to blend in. ?That is, as a result of the experimentation, he’s been afflicted with some super flaw or super ability that presents an obstacle to his every being able to blend in an ordinary person.
IOW: what dramatic problem has the failed experiment left indelibly stamped on his psyche and/or physiognomy?
fwiw
I’m guessing him escaping or realising that his family are bad guys is his inciting incident, as?his being born probably can’t be.
“oppressive family of assassins” sounds odd. They kill, not oppress. If he was a failed experiment, wouldn’t they have terminated him already?
A young boy must escape from a failed genetic program designed to weaponize human beings into super soldiers before he is terminated.
I agree with dpg. There are a number of movies where the protagonist has a special power or is different, and the story is about them fighting against others. I think the idea offers an interesting situation where the protagonist’s goal is not to fight back but to get away from it.
It reads very similar to many teens with powers stories. A teenage boy who tearfully cries: I never asked for this… has become somewhat of a trope.
Why not shift the focus from the fact he is trying to fit in to a more specific major objective. Running away from his family doesn’t seem specific enough as it can happen on an indefinite basis. If he had to kill them in order to survive or save other people’s lives, then you’d be describing an outer objective goal that he could pursue with in a finite time line.