After being accidentally locked up in their classroom due to a failed mischief, a group of teens must fight for their lives when they discover that their teachers are aliens who feed on the brains of children.
JMLogliner
After being accidentally locked up in their classroom due to a failed mischief, a group of teens must fight for their lives when they discover that their teachers are aliens who feed on the brains of children.
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I like horror and the logline is a good start, but my personal taste says the story in the logline is too familiar and superficial.
>> After being accidentally locked up in their classroom due to a failed mischief,
It sounds like the other kids are attacked first and this group survives because they’re locked up. If yes, this is a detail for the script and not the logline. Consider starting like, “After their teachers are revealed to be brain-eating aliens…“
In a group like this, one character is technically the protag so state her or him, possibly another if necessary, and then clump the others. Describe the protag so that we care and want her or him to succeed.
Once it says teens, “children” at the end throws me off because it makes me think of those under 13.
Is there some depth or something relatable about this that wasn’t mentioned?