After fending themselves from enemy forces, a small U.S. platoon escape into the Afghan mountains where they unknowingly enter into a strange and surreal game of survival with a hostile giant during their tour of duty.
Caleb TumanakoLogliner
After fending themselves from enemy forces, a small U.S. platoon escape into the Afghan mountains where they unknowingly enter into a strange and surreal game of survival with a hostile giant during their tour of duty.
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Think of the Inciting Incident and the Goal as a question and an answer. The goal must answer the question posed by the inciting incident. What do you do when a shark kills a tourist on your beach? You try to kill the shark. They must be related! With that in mind, your inciting incident is related to the soldiers fending off an attack and escaping into the mountains but the goal is to survive with the hostile giant. The inciting incident, in my opinion, is the appearance of the giant. This is the event that changes everything and sets up Acts II and III.
I think this was discussed with previous versions of this logline but pick a central protagonist – like the leader of this merry band of soldiers. It’s easier for an audience to get emotionally involved with a story when there is one character they care about more than the others.
“Strange and surreal game of survival” – Why is it strange and surreal? We need to understand what this is going to look like on screen because film is a visual medium. Making sure the reader has a clear idea what’s going on gives you a better chance of someone picking this up. Ambiguity or vagueness leaves the reader to fill in the blanks in their own head and this is never good if it’s not the story you’re trying to tell.
Hope this helps.